Tips for a shy girl

published Apr 09, 2005, last modified Jun 26, 2013

What is freedom? How can you even know what freedom is, if you haven't experienced it? How big a price are you willing to pay for your freedom?

Yes, you've lost the first battles for your freedom. You've finally convinced yourself it's not worth it. You might even consider marriage, suicide, or a combination of both as an exit route. You have let them tell you what to feel, what to think, how to react.

Think, dammit! You're smart! You're missing out on the best days of your life! How come I sense this losing attitude in you?

But all is not lost. You need to begin by asserting control of your own thoughts and feelings. You need to begin questioning each and every thought and feeling you have, and ask yourself: "Is this genuine? Is this mine? Have I been told this before? By whom? Which interests were in that person's mind? Why am I not feeling or thinking for myself? What is, really, what I would want now?"

What is freedom? I'll tell you what freedom is:
- going to parties whenever you feel like, however you feel like, until you feel like
- making out with guys and girls you choose to, whenever you want
- choosing the job you want, regardless of how much it pays
- saying whatever you want, without feeling remorse
- ... so much more

... but I suspect you knew that by now. The question is: have you been brainwashed into thinking these things aren't worth it? Cuz you're wrong, dude! They are decidedly worth it!

But what goes with freedom is much more worthwhile: the feeling of accomplishment and heightened self-esteem which will let you face life's choices ruthlessly and effectively. That is something you'll never attain if you let time pass and do not grab what belongs to you. Listen to me: you'll be a pushover for the rest of your life. Your parents, your friends and your significant others will never, ever put you in the place you belong. That's just human nature: we respect what we perceive to be respectable. And we only perceive to be respectable what can stand on its own.

So this fight is worth what? Fighting your parents. Fighting your boss. Fighting the establishment. Twisting and grabbing by force what belongs to you, and has always belonged to you, but will never be given back to you unless you snap it from the holders' hands. It might take years - it might take months - it might take days. It might take your living space, your studies, even your physical well-being. It might take everything you're so used to, and it will take you out of your comfort zone. But freedom is worth the price. This I am telling you, because I know. Because I have lived through a particularly harsh edition of these experiences, and I have succeeded. Because I am happy now.

The bottom line is: freedom never comes for free. For that matter, good things never come for free: you need to be willing to pay the price, and maintain your decision until the end comes. It's a long journey, filled with feelings of sadness and problems. But I can assure you: you'll never be happy if you let your life pass by, not claiming what is yours.