Sex before marriage: good

Every day, you see marriages breaking apart.

Do you ever wonder if people who divorce were really in love at the time of marriage? Because I do. Although there are multiple causes for this phenomenon, here's a small bit of an explanation for that.

The prudish 'no sex before marriage' school of thought has made a huge mistake out of ignorance, and has spread that ignorance around the globe. What's their mistake?

Thinking that sexual desire and love are intertwined or the same. And using this belief to justify placing an absurd value on virginity.

Sexual desire and love are not intertwined. When you're young, they appear to be, because both love and sexual desire are new feelings and both feel good. But, in fact, they're not. You can be:

• horny and want someone,
• in love with someone else,
• both things at the same time (about the same person or different people)

Now, ideally, before you get married to someone, you should both desire and be in love with a person.

But, in reality, uncontrolled desire can cloud your thought and can easily make you confused about true love. You see, horny guys (or girls) can't think straight. A horny person really can't help it -- horniness can make you disregard and ignore dangerous or undesirable traits in your partner. Hell, you could end up marrying someone who eats toenail clippings or something!

And then, when the desire is satisfied (usually after marriage), the problems start cropping up. Unreconcilable differences in opinion, nasty traits in one or both partners. That's disaster in the making.

So, what's the quickest solution to tell love and desire apart?

Well, just eliminate the desire component of the equation. Have (safe) sex. The more, the merrier. Once you have a calm state of mind (usually after the post-orgasm fog subsides), you can really make up your mind about whether your partner is a keeper or not. Obviously, more often than not, your partner won't be a keeper... but would you rather know after tying the knot?

(Got inspired while reading David Shade's Journal.)